Positive Energy

I have always placed a high emphasis on trying to help leave you all with good memories. Maybe it is a character flaw if I've overdone it, but confidence is high that it has worked out for you all more often than not, right?

As I've said before, Dad was always super high energy about memory making, and doing his best to be what he thought was the best parent possible. His own mom and dad, my Grandma Shirk and Grandpa Billington (Frank Jr), split up when he was fairly young. Grammy Shirk ended up marrying a not very nice man, Stanley, who really didn't treat her kids well, and in particular seemed to harbor great disdain for Dad, who was the oldest of the siblings. To hear it from Aunt Lynn, Uncle Johnny, and Aunt Barbara, Dad did his best to just stay out of sight, in the upstairs or attic, or basement, or out with friends, to avoid coming into contact with Stanley and having to absorb whatever physical or verbal abuse might get directed at him.  Dad missed out on having a good dad around, and I think he tried hard to compensate for that. Even after he and Grandma Crook split up, he kept up as best he could.

Up until I was 7 years old, my parents were together, and I didn't realize it until much later in life, but Dad's energy to try to be involved with us kids seemed limitless. As a young kid, I thought everyone's Dad did of course did those kinds of things. Later as an adult, I realized how much more he did than most parents, and for me and my siblings in particular, and more than I was ever really able to do for you guys, and that is really what led me to always try to compensate in my own way, because I never was able to match his energy level like that.

I can remember, when I was in day care during the work day, because Mom and Dad both worked, that every holiday Dad would make sure my wardrobe was ready. For example, on St. Patrick's Day, I didn't just have green pants and green socks and a green shirt... Dad also spray painted my saddle shoes green!  We would sit in a circle, I'm like 4 or 5 years old, and the staff would be leading a sing along... "I see someone with a clover bow, a clover bow..." and working their way through the kids. When they got to me, it was always, "I see someone in alllll green". No matter what holiday or event, Dad made sure my outfit was not lacking.

After day care, when I was in regular elementary school for the first time and all of 6 years old, there was going to be a Christmas program for the students and community to mark the beginning of the holiday break, and Santa Claus was going to be there for photos! Pretty cool! I mean, I knew Santa was not real by then, but at 6 years old, it is still neat.

The big day came, it was exciting to go to the school at night, just a totally different vibe than the school day. We got in line to get our photos taken, and when my turn came, I was parked in Santa's lap, and he asked what I wanted for Christmas.

Wait. I totally know that voice!

I turned and looked at him. Most of his face was obscured by the bushy white mustache and beard, and of course his hair was covered by the red stocking cap, but there were his eyes. Dad.  MY DAD IS SANTA CLAUS.

I kept my cool, because I for whatever reason decided his secret needed to be kept safe, but I still wanted to tell EVERYONE that SANTA IS MY DAD!

I still don't know how he arranged that, and didn't know until later that he didn't borrow a Santa suit, he bought it outright. He did the Santa thing for several years and at some point I noticed his suit hanging mostly hidden in the back of his closet. Even after Mom and Dad split up he did Santa for many years at my school as well as the school in Maple Valley where he ended up moving after marrying Laura (Grandma Billington).

But that was not all. The elementary school in Maple Valley also had an annual carnival in the spring, which felt a lot like the Halloween events at the Rice Lake Fire Station in Duluth, or the Trunk or Treat events at the big church in Vancouver. Lots of little booths with skill throws and toss the rings and dart the balloons and stuff like that. The first time I went to one of those, I didn't notice that he disappeared shortly after we arrived. Was having too much fun playing. At some point I heard the voice of someone entertaining kids with silly magic and making balloon animals, and it gave me the exact same kick as Santa Dad. There was this tall and round clown decked out in a full silly head to toe costume with goofy shoes, heavy face paint, big red nose, and fabulous rainbow wig. And yes, of course, it was Dad.  I had not known he knew how to do clown stuff. He had the voice, the mannerisms, the silliness. He surprised me all over again that night. And when I had found Dad's Santa costume in his closet those years later, yes, this clown suit was right with it.

I don't remember how many years he did these things, but this is a level of community involvement that I don't feel like I was ever able to match. He wanted to make good memories for us kids, but not just us, rather for all kids. In those years, he poured his energy into trying to make things better for any children who might be having a rough go. He always seemed to be trying to make the world a better place, in his own way, and I'll always be grateful and proud of him for that.

So I had you guys pick topics, and Indie chose first. "Clown sounds fun."

Yes, it absolutely was.